Terror from within

Terrorism. Today, when we say that word, it conjures up all kinds of images and feelings. Growing up, I’ve developed my own connotations of the word. In an unintentionally self-absorbed way, I assumed terrorism was an entirely American thing, and that it all started here with us. But Ireland has made me realize a different story. Merriam-Webster defines terrorism as the use of violent acts to frighten the people in an area as a way of trying to achieve a political goal. If you know anything about Irish history in the last hundred years or so, then you know this definition fits the conflict in Ireland to a T. A few years ago, I would have said that Ireland’s form of terrorism was very different than ours, in the sense that our fear is of a foreign enemy, and Ireland’s of a domestic one. However, I now believe we can somewhat better understand Ireland’s form of terrorism. With our present and ongoing domestic mass shootings and bombings, more and more often in the name of ISIS, we are becoming less afraid of an enemy outside our borders and more terrified of one within. I’m not making any assertions on which form is better, as they are both obviously atrocious and unbearable, I’m just making an observation on what I see as a developing similarity. What is particularly interesting to me, however, is the fact that I can almost empathize with the motivations for Irish terrorism. I get it. Almost. I understand why they were willing to go so far, after so many centuries of being ignored. But I just do not comprehend ISIS’s rationale. I find it impossible to fathom how they really think mass murder will lead to a better world. You could say Ireland is now a better place, but only once terror was primarily discarded. Violence doesn’t create peace – it only creates more violence. How many more times will the world be shown this before we finally pay attention?

IMG_2978Belfast, Northern Ireland

IMG_3513Derry, Northern Ireland

I’m from Montana

During my time in Ireland, I realized that whenever someone asked me where I was from, my instinctive response was “I’m from Montana.” Not once did I ever say that I was from the United States. Once I noticed this, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I began to understand that this was an expression of my personal identity. I don’t identify myself as an American. I know that I am, but it isn’t how I see myself. I’m first and foremost and always and forever a Montanan. My pride and my affection are for my state more so than for my country. Once I acknowledged this, I started thinking about the Irish identity – one so very different from my own. My Montana pride stems from the state’s beauty and way of life and the simple fact that it’s my home. Irish pride, if I may say so, is a lot more complex – so complex that I don’t believe I can accurately explain it or ever fully understand it. Of course it varies for every person, but it’s rooted in centuries of conflict and poverty and oppression. If you ask any American when they think their history starts, they will most likely say somewhere around 1776. If you ask any Irishman, you’ll get a lot of different answers – but all of them will be a lot longer ago than some measly 200 years. This is one of the things that most fascinates me about the Irish. Their history spans such a greater time period, and all of it remains so central to their modern identity. History is a common topic of conversation in a very different way than it is here. Because I don’t have this immense frame of history, I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to really understand what it is to be Irish. But even as I lack that understanding, I know what it means to be a Montanan, and that’s enough for me.

IMG_2332General Post Office, Dublin, Republic of Ireland

IMG_4439St. Finbarr’s Cathedral, Cork, Republic of Ireland

Day Fifteen: January 19, 2016

Today we woke up early (no surprise there) and headed straight for the national park Glendalough. I tried to sleep on the bus, but couldn’t take my eyes off the countryside, for I knew it would be one of my last glimpses of Ireland’s green plains for awhile.

The park itself was lovely, and had some truly beautiful craftsmanship put into it. I was honestly surprised that we skipped over such a magical place in our studies. I don’t recall Bartlett mentioning a Saint Kevin or any National Parks. Adam and I walked around the site, I really wanted to go to the lake, but was feeling pretty weak and lightheaded. So while everyone else ventured off hiking, Adam and I went inside and got some hot soup. It was difficult to tear my eyes away from the misty mountains, and the intricate rock work on the ground. Hopefully, I will be able to return to that park someday and explore more.

As soon as everyone concluded their hiking and had grabbed some lunch, we loaded back on the bus and left for Dublin. I was excited to return to the capital, and see if it looked the same to my Ireland-adjusted eyes as it had to my jet-lagged ones. Of course, it did. The city was just as beautiful as I remembered it.

Laure gave us the night off, but most the group already had plans to go to the Oscar Wilde production at the Gate Theatre. Tonya, Lydia, Adam and I stayed at the Belvedere hotel for a while and relaxed, then we walked to a nice burger joint for dinner before the play. I tried falafel for the first time, and it was delicious.

Attending a local performance of The Importance of Being Earnest was absolutely one of my favorite things that we have done so far. It was very well done, and highly entertaining. I love going to plays, but rarely get the chance, and I cannot remember ever seeing a performance of such high quality. 

Now I’m just back in my room, brainstorming ideas about what to do to make my last day in Ireland special, and writing in my journal. I’ve come to the conclusion that I never want to leave this magical fairyland.

Day Two: January 6, 2016

We landed in Ireland at the break of dawn, it was beautiful, but the plane ride was terrible. Tonya (one of my classmates) and I spent most of the flight getting to know each other, because neither of us could get comfortable enough to sleep. It felt like the flight attendants were waking everyone up every ten minutes anyways; to hand out everything from drinks and food to hot towels and sleeping masks. On top of all of that, they kept the cabin lights on most of the night, and the guy in front of me leaned his seat all the way back, until he was – quite literally – in my lap. That alone made it a very long and difficult ride. Tonya, being a rather tiny human being, was kind enough to curl up in a ball and offer me some of her leg room.

After landing, everyone wanted nothing more than to head to the hotel, shower, put on some fresh clothes, and pass out, but Laure (our professor)  and Tom (our tour guide) made sure that we stuck to the schedule and began touring instead. At that point, Adam and I had only slept about five hours since Sunday evening, and it was now Wednesday. You can do the math on that one.

Tired and cranky, Tom took us to the Kilmainham Gaol prison, a place where both de Valera and Charles Stewart Parnell both did time, it was also the location of the outrageous 1916 Easter Rising rebel executions. I walked through the prison, haunted and excited; pausing occasionally to wonder how many great men had stood where I was standing. The size and complexity of the prison amazed me, along with the logic behind the design of it all. It was genius yet disturbing how they planned the place out; making sure that nothing anyone or anything did went unseen by the guards.

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After the tour of the prison, we drove around Dublin and grabbed lunch at Temple Bar (the happening, pub-filled, area of town). Once we ate, we walked over to Trinity College and visited the Book of Kells. The book itself is strikingly beautiful, but I was much more interested in the grand library upstairs, that’s filled with antique books and artifacts.

Saint Patrick’s Cathedral was our next stop. A very beautiful and holy ground, I am not religious, and certainly not Catholic, but I loved looking at the architecture, sculptures, and stained-glass windows that adorned the place. Catholics really don’t spare any expense when it comes to their house of worship. Sadly, I spent a large deal of our time there waiting in line for the bathroom, which was impressively small by the way.

Following the Cathedral tour, we finally went to the hotel; at that point, everyone was walking around like zombies, except instead of brains we really just wanted to sleep in peace. Of course, we had to check in and eat dinner first though. I was pleasantly surprised by how delicious the dinner the hotel prepared for us was. Not only did they work around everyone’s allergies, but they also prepared an excellent vegetarian meal for me (traditional pasta, vegetable spring rolls, and cheesecake).

Finally, after eating, we were dismissed to go to our rooms, take hot showers, and sleep in actual beds. It was a fantastic first day in Dublin, but I wish I would have been less tires and more alert to enjoy it.

Day One: January 5, 2016

After months of waiting, our journey has finally begun. Now the entire class is jet-lagged, exhausted, and stuck in yet another airport (JFK to be exact). But, I guess that’s just how travelling goes. I cannot even imagine how good it is going to feel to get off of the next plane, and walk out onto foreign soil for the first time. Several of the other students in this class have already travelled the world, but this is a first for me. I am excited, to say the least. Also, I thoroughly regret not getting more than an hour of sleep last night, but in the end, it was probably worth it.

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As usual, the airports have been awful: crowded, noisy, boring, and they all have the same over-priced, mediocre food. I have flown many times in the past, but never for more than ten or twelve hours at a time. This twenty-four plus hour thing is a little much for me. I’m sure it will be worth it in the long-run though. It better be. I am honestly terrified that I put hundreds of hours of work and god knows how much money into a trip I might be miserable on. That’s ridiculous though. I have Adam (my wonderful boyfriend) to keep me company, and am beginning to get to know some of the others in the class, and I am sure that after the first few days I will be more comfortable with everybody. The fact that I was not actually in the fall-semester history class with everyone else (I had to take an independent study instead, due to a schedule conflict), makes me feel outside of the rest of the group, but that will certainly change soon. Either way, I am thrilled to go on this amazing adventure, and see/learn all that I am able to, in such a short amount of time.

Maternity Ward

After the first few days of getting a feel for the hospital operations, I decided to spend most of my time in maternity because of the high number of births that happen every day. One of the nurses estimated that the hospital saw between 3 and 7 births every day–and that, of course, does not count the births that happen at home with Traditional Birth Attendants (TBAs). With so many pregnant women and new mothers, the maternity ward was overflowing.

My main duties were giving treatment to new moms. They all got antibiotics for seven days after they gave birth and many also needed malaria medication to reduce the risk of complications during pregnancy, delivery, and breast feeding. I helped mix the medicine, drew it up into syringes, and administered it through cannula ports that were inserted by the trained nurses. (I am definitely not qualified to put in an IV.) I also helped clean wounds after women had to get C-sections, weigh and clean babies after they were born, and bring the newborns and their mothers back to their beds in the ward. I loved seeing the little newborn babies–they looked like aliens, but really adorable aliens.

Birth in Uganda is very different than birth in the US. There are no epidurals and doctors very rarely, if ever, assist in births. That task is left up to the nurses and nursing students. The mothers have to provide their own waterproof sheet to lay on during the delivery as well as all of the bedding for her hospital bed, all of the towels to clean the baby and all of the blankets to swaddle it. Additionally, mothers have to bring sterile gloves and a sterile razor blade for the nurses to use during the delivery. The nurses use the bottom of the gloves to tie the umbilical cord and then use the razor blade to “cut” the cord (its more of a sawing motion rather than a cutting motion).

The mothers are rarely accompanied by anyone and certainly not a husband. There were never any men (besides the male nurses and doctors) anywhere near the labor suites. The women were mostly quiet, occasionally moaning with the contractions, but there were never any screeches or screams that Americans would usually associate with childbirth. The women in the ward ranged from teenagers having their first child to women in their late thirties or even older having their fifth, sixth, or seventh child. In Uganda, the total fertility rate is 6.7 meaning that, in her lifetime, an average woman will have about seven children.

The women I met in the maternity ward were so hardy and strong and inspiring. They cook all of the food for their family, they fetch the water, they clean the house, and they give birth with little help from friends, family, or modern medicine. Like the rest of the hospital, the maternity ward has not changed since the 60s and could really use a face-lift.

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These are the rooms that the women give birth in.

Globalization Correlations

The world is getting smaller. At least that’s what some people say. When an airplane can get you from Missoula, MT to Amsterdam, Beijing, Tokyo, Prague, and beyond in less time than it takes to drive to the East Coast, when email and phones make contact and communication instantaneous anywhere in the world, there is truth in that.

Times have changed. It used to take weeks to sail up and down the East Coast of North America, let alone to make the voyage across the Atlantic or the Pacific. Of course that was long ago, before cars were invented. But even when our parents were taking their turns at studying abroad, phone calls were rare and the internet was in its infancy.

How does that relate to my study abroad experience? It relates in the way that globalization (the big ‘it’ word that the GLI is built around) is directly correlated to those developments in transportation and communication. In Ireland, the American influence is a bit more noticeable than in places like Bulgaria or the Czech Republic. However, Irish culture, Bulgarian culture, and Czech culture still are fundamentally unique, with traditions and beliefs that will never fade.

As well they should not. Its hard to put into perspective how much cultures differ until you’re living in one that’s not your own. I know this sounds like a ‘Duh!’ moment, but from someone that has never been outside the United States (excluding Canada), it was a profound revelation.

Thinking about my GLI topic that I chose freshman year, I’ve come to realize that obviously I need to rethink so things. It had something to do with how the arts (specifically theatre) are transmitted and passed from culture to culture, and while that is an interesting and relevant topic for an anthropologist, there are other, more modern, more pressing topics that have to deal with issues in the world right now. Or at least, I can tweak my topic to reflect a more mature understanding of the way the world works.

Has anyone else wanted to change their topic after their Beyond the Classroom experience? I imagine so. These experiences (at least Studying Abroad from my perspective) are profoundly momentous. I don’t know if I’ve referenced this quote before on this blog but Mark Twain’s quote is a good way to finish this my entries in this blog.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

First Impressions

After spending quite a lot of time getting ready to travel across the world to Uganda, it was surreal to actually be in the Entebbe airport waiting to be picked up by Bazil, our in-country coordinator. Like we were warned, Bazil ran on “Uganda time” meaning that he was about an hour and a half late to the airport but I didn’t care because I was about to start the greatest adventure of my life.

We drove several hours to Gombe, the place where I would be volunteering and living for the next four weeks, on bright red dirt roads through beautiful green jungle. I was very excited to start volunteering in the hospital because it truly seemed like an area where I could actually make a difference.

It took a while before we all got settled in, the creaky metal beds and pit latrines were a far cry from what many of us were accustomed to in the US, but eventually we got used to life without amenities. It was actually very calming to not have to worry about texting people back or talking to them on the phone–to be totally disconnected form technology was the best vacation I could have asked for.

Every morning we all would walk the 3+ kilometers into town to the hospital. It was built in 1969 and nothing about it has changed since then except for some of the technology in the lab and the 20 year old solar panels on the roof. The walls, both inside and out, were stained with red dirt and the eaves were full of birds’ nests–it was definitely not one of the pristine and sterile hospitals that we would be used to in the States. But that fact did not mean that the hospital was not providing vital services to all of the people in and around the village. Yes it was not state of the art, but that hospital was incredibly important to the community and provided women with a safe place to give birth and gave men, women, and children somewhere to recover from severe injuries and diseases. And I was chomping at the bit in order to be apart of it–to learn, observe, and assist in the daily goings-on of the Gombe Hospital.

I wanted to be as much help as possible so I decided to assist in an area that I actually know about–HIV testing and counseling. In Missoula I volunteer for the Open Aid Alliance which provides HIV and Hep C testing and counseling to at risk individuals, so I felt confident that I would be able to successfully perform HIV tests in Gombe. At first I was a little nervous because of the high prevalence of HIV (7.3% of the population), but in all of the testing I did, I did not see a single reactive case. I was very pleased to not have a positive individual not because I was concerned about my safety (I was wearing gloves and correctly disposed of all sharps) but because I hope that the increased testing and counseling will help bring the epidemic under control. I felt very fulfilled to be able to test in Gombe Hospital because I could tell that I was actually making a difference. And, in fact, the testing methods between Uganda and the US are almost exactly the same which made it very easy to transition. I know that the work I am doing will not greatly affect Uganda in the long run, but I would hope that by testing and educating individuals I can make a small difference in Gombe.

I am excited to see what the next few weeks will bring!

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Rain Forest Shenanigans

I had the incredible opportunity to travel with the university to Bosawás, a national reserve that takes up a large part of northern Nicaragua. The reserve mostly consists of rainforest. It is home to tons of plants and trees. While we trekked, our guides pointed out bamboo (that grows at a rate of 1 meter every day!), pine trees (in a tropical rainforest?!), maple trees, and trees from prehistoric times (we’re talking dinosaurs). And those were just a few of the hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of varieties that grow in the reserve. Suffice it to say that it was green everywhere and always interesting. Bosawás also has crazy cool animal life – jaguars, sloths, birds, snakes, frogs, bugs (large ones), and plenty more. Unfortunately, we didn’t spot any jaguars or sloths. I’d imagine it would be an incredible site for wildlife biology research.

While we were in this world of LIFE in so many forms, we stayed at an educational center that had a few small houses and rooms for guests. It was so tranquil and lovely! There was a short path that led to a waterfall. We learned about some of the environmental problems in Nicaragua, such as the water shortage in some cities. We also learned about the bees that they raise at the center and tried some of the pure nectar which has a crazy flavor – it’s bitter, tangy, sweet, sour, kind of everything!

Each morning, I woke up to the sound of rain. It felt great to stay under a blanket and listen 🙂 Then we ate an incredible breakfast – beans with lime and chili flavor, fresh fruit, coffee from the nearby farms, freshly baked bread (I think I ate 5 pieces), pancakes with their own honey, and granola. What a way to start the day! Then we went on hikes. On the first day we took a fairly short hike to a waterfall. Along the way we stopped often to learn about the plants and such. The waterfall was gorgeous. It fell quite a distance onto a rocky area and formed a pool that trickled into the rainforest. We adventured along the rocks underneath the falls, swam across the small pool, and got to a high rock where there was a great view of the rainforest and the hills in the distance. We were all wearing our hiking clothes and rainboots that the center had provided, so we got completely soaked. We stayed cool on the hike back! We were welcomed back by a lunch that did not disappoint. I stuffed my belly with fresh juices, the best gallo pinto I’ve had yet, handmade tortillas, juicy chicken, and tons of flavorful veggies. Naturally, we all napped after lunch, explored a bit more around the center, then had an equally impressive dinner. That night, we took a quick hike to a clear spot and stargazed. The skies were clear and absolutely sparkling.

On the second day, we took a more intense hike. This time, we summited the mountain and arrived at the top of the waterfall! The path got pretty steep and they’d constructed ladders for us to scurry up at points. Between the intensity of the hike and the humidity, I was literally dripping with sweat by the time we got to the top. Fortunately, there was a natural swimming hole which cooled us right off 🙂

Bosawás was amazing. I got to see a type of environment I’ve never seen before and be blown away by the diversity of creation. God is quite the artist. 🙂 Swimming under the waterfall and hiking through the rainforest will definitely be some of my fondest memories of Nicaragua.

Neature and Life Lessons

One of the most common things I’d heard about studying abroad – along with “It’s the best!” “You have to do it!!” etc. – was that you learn a lot about yourself. Now, I’m not one who naturally stops and reflects on stuff like, “Who am I?” But as I’ve been here in Nicaragua, surrounded by the unfamiliar, that’s a question I keep finding answers to. For example, living in Montana, it’s super common to claim what you like to do as hiking, skiing, and other nature-focused activities. I usually say those things too, but these last couple weeks really solidified that I love nature. I spend my weeks in Managua, a decently large, busy, modern city. It’s not until I get outside of the city until I realize how much I miss seeing countryside, forests, mountains or small towns. The last two weekends I’ve gotten a healthy dose of nature and am feeling rejuvenated.

Last Friday morning, the 6 of us girls from the U.S. hopped into a mini bus to go on an ISEP-sponsored weekend outing! Hooray! We drove about 3 hours towards the north/central part of Nica. Along the way our driver played love ballads from the 80s. They got old pretty quickly, and I had “My Heart Will Go On” stuck in my head for the next couple days. The city gave way to open, hilly countryside. This time of year it’s all brownish/yellow, but I still find it beautiful. We drove by coffee plantations, farms and ranches. We entered Matagalpa, a small city among forested hills. A few kilometers up, we arrived at our destination: Selva Negra (Black Jungle). I think it’s described as an ecolodge. I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but I’m now thinking it’s an environmentally-focused campground sorta thang. There are cabins for the guests connected by little roads and trails with gardens, ponds, and swings dispersed throughout the area. It’s all very tree-y and green. There are a bunch of trails that start right by the cabins and wind through the jungle and up the mountain. I loved it. It is so tranquil, the air is so fresh, everything smells good, I wanted to take a picture of everything I saw, I didn’t want to go inside, I told the girls I may not go back to Managua, and so forth. When we arrived it was sunny but not hot, later it got foggy, then it rained [all night]. I had this odd feeling…I don’t know if I remember how to describe it…I almost felt chilly! Haha it felt so good to wear a light jacket and pants and to sleep with a blanket!

On Friday afternoon, we did this sweet hike up a mountain that overlooked the valley and Matagalpa. At the top, they have constructed a huge cross and statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe. The clouds moved in as we reached the top, so it felt like we were in the clouds! It was raining, but a very soft, mist-like rain. It felt lovely. On Saturday, we took the trails from the cabins into the jungle. The rain had cleared up but it remained nice and cool. We were just surrounded by green and these great big trees. Some of the trees have these crazy roots that are above the ground and wind into loops. Others have trunks that look like they’re made up of dozens of smaller vines that have wound together so tightly that they’re now one being. It’s a magical world J We didn’t see any creatures, which is probably good. If I would’ve seen a monkey I don’t know how well I’d respond. Those things are creepy! Anyway, Selva Negra is beautiful and I am so glad I was able to spend the weekend there.

I’m learning another important lesson about myself (and the world). I’m seeing firsthand how good I have it as an American. Life is so easy. Not for everyone in the US, I realize that, but wow. I am incredibly blessed and it is hard to see how the majority of the people in the world live. It legitimately hurts my heart. And it makes me think – how should I be using my time here? Yes, there are definitely wonderful places to see and adventures to be had, but there are also so many people in need! I can’t just be here, living the rich Nicaraguan life and ignore these people’s realities. Feeling convicted, I asked Mary Helen (who works at the International Office and basically knows all) how I can volunteer. The next day, I was touring an elementary school, and two days later I was teaching English classes. The school is called Brazos de Amor (Arms of Love). It was created by this Nicaraguan couple in a poor neighborhood on the edge of Managua. The neighborhood has rutted dirt roads, lots of stray dogs, trash all over, and small houses that always have laundry hanging on the clothesline. The school has a couple hundred students or so, from kindergarten to 6th grade. They wear uniforms (blue pants and a white collared shirt) and look adorable. But they come from tough situations. The director was telling me that the majority of students come from a single-parent household or are raised by step-parents. Many are abused and/or malnourished. There are behavior problems. They don’t have to come to school, but they do. The school is an amazing place. I am so grateful that I can meet these kids and the teachers who work there. When I taught on Thursday, the classes were so good! They were engaged and received me warmly. When I was leaving the 2nd grade classroom, a couple girls came up to give me a goodbye hug. Promptly, the entire class was on its feet, mobbing me as they tried to give me a hug. Their teacher was nearly prying them away. Holy cow. I think that’s how it feels when your heart melts. I will teach each class, 1st-6th, for one hour a week. I don’t know how much those few English classes will help them, but I will do my best. And I will love them and pray for them. These children, because they were born to a certain family in a certain country, have a reality that is foreign to me. It’s not fair. But it can still be beautiful. I believe they have more to teach me about life and joy and perseverance than I can teach about the language.

So, my fellow Americans, enjoy what you’ve got.

Greetings from Nica,

Ellie Hoffman